Attack of the SBD!!!

December 21, 2009

So there I was with my two kids in the McDonald’s drive thru. My four year old son was in the back seat, and my nine year old daughter in the front. It’s the holiday season, and I didn’t feel like cooking. Plus, if the commercials are correct, McDonald’s uses all white meat from real chickens (or at least that’s what the latest DNA testing shows.)

I noticed my daughter was being unusually silent. I figured she was deep in thought, but had no idea how “deep” the rest of us would be in a few moments. Suddenly she exclaimed “Uh oh, that one was worse than I thought it was going to be!”

Now I appreciate her alert of the impending assault on my olfactory senses from her SBD. It was like the time when I cleaned her room one day when she was about four. As I retrieved a pair of her underwear from beneath her bed, she said “Be careful dad, I got a lot of toots in that one.” That was good information. But this time the warning was useless in terms of its ability to allow me to take cover. It’s kind of like a shark attack, if you’re to the point where you see a shark’s teeth; it’s pretty much too late.

Well, her little fluff bomb had teeth alright! Within seconds my car reeked of a smell that would knock a buzzard off a gut wagon at 100 feet. And worst of all was the fact that both my window and the drive thru window were open. Yes, like any good weapon of ass destruction, the employees of McDonalds (and the indoor patrons) were not shielded from the blast. Of course, who do you think they looked to as the culprit? Me. Hell, I should have just said “Say hello to my little friend!!!!” and sped off. But no, I sat there pointing at my kids, which only brought on scorns of contempt. As the window worker handed me the two 6 piece McNugget Mighty Kids meals, the look in her eye said it all. Don’t come back!!

For the record, I eat at In-n-Out burger now as I have been banned from the golden arches.

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