September 29, 2009 · 2 comments

I got the following in an e-mail the other day, and it made me laugh so hard that I nearly pulled a stomach muscle. Seriously, my stomach hurt for 4 days just from this one e-mail. Again, I apologize for not giving proper credit to the original author, but after researching on the internet I could not find out who originally wrote it. Oh well. Enjoy.

In pharmacology, all drugs have two (2) names, a trade name and a generic name. For example, everyone is familiar with the trade name Tylenol, but its lesser known generic name is Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin, and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepoken.

Pfizer Corp. also recently announced that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally “pour himself a stiff one.” For obvious reasons, the term “soft drink” will no longer be used. It also gives new meaning to certain classes of beverages such as “Cocktails”, “Highballs”, and just a good old fashioned “Stiff Drink.” Pepsi will market the concoction by the name of MOUNT & DO.

And now may I leave you with the thought of the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. That means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.