Wii Monster

August 31, 2009

My son is 3. And much to the chagrin of many, he is A LOT like me! If dad is exercising and lifting weights, then he is exercising, too. If dad gets mad while driving and questions the parentage of other drivers on the road, then by golly, he’s gonna call ‘em a bastard, too. But I don’t know where he got his latest little trick.

Yesterday we were playing Wii Sports: specifically, the Boxing game. And “mini me” was doing everything he’s seen me do when I play that game. Left, left, left-right, hold the controllers together, bob and weave, punch, it all seemed very familiar, and I was proud. But then he squatted really low and started punching. My wife and I looked at each other, not sure what he was doing. “Hey, buddy. What are you doing down there?” I asked, and without missing a beat he replied “I’m trying to hit him in the penny!!”

Now, if you’ve read “Anatomical Pet Names, Part Deux,” you’ll know what he was talking about. And you can also guess that I was immediately blamed for the “family jewels” take down method of boxing, although I swear I never taught him that. He’s just a smart kid, too smart. He knows how I react when I get hit there (usually by one of his errant elbows, knees, feet, or that battering ram of a head he’s got).

He’s also taken to claiming testicular injury when he needs a little backup. He knows that if he says “Dad, she took my toy” or “Dad, they won’t let me on the computer,” my most likely response is, “You kids work it out yourself!” So lately he’s started saying “Hey!! Stop hitting me in the balls!!” and it works, too. I hear that and I am immediately there “What happened?!? Who hit you in the balls?? Where are they??”

I guess you could say that he has me wrapped around his thumb. And when my daughter was his age, she did, too. All in all though, I’d rather be wrapped like that than be an absentee dad.

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