Fashion

July 18, 2009 · 1 comment

And now, a word about fashion. I realize that I am probably the least qualified person in the world to talk about fashion or style, but what the heck, I know what I like. So when it comes to fashion or style, here is The Point of Q.

It seems to me that people have forgotten about the concepts of “scale” and “proportion”. You know that cute little “poodle” hair style that you see these twig-like supermodels wearing? Yeah, it looks good on them because they weigh about 100 pounds (and that’s when they are retaining water). It works because the style is proportionally apprioriate to her body type. A woman the same height who weighs 200 pounds cannot pull that off! IT MAKES THEM LOOK BIGGER!!!!!!! Men and Speedos have the same problem. It looks ok on the Abercrombie and Fitch model that has less than 8% body fat, but not so much on the guy with 28%. Any time there is so much body fat that the Speedo looks like a thong, you know that the guy has gone too far.

There is a fine line when it comes to style, and that line should never be crossed. For example, it should be against the law for any company to manufacture a miniskirt above a size 10. That’s just entrapment for women! (Come to think of it, that would make a good name for a perfume “When your looks and personality just don’t quite cut it, try Entrapment for Women”).

So, what drives fashion, anyway? First, women have to realize that whether they like it or not, they wear what they wear because men like it. Take high heels, for example, they can’t be comfortable. Every woman I have ever known who wears heels can’t wait to take them off at the end of a date. (Regrettably, the clothes stayed on). So why do they wear them? Because men like them! But in this game of “lets dress to appeal to the tastes of men” there is a principle that is lost, which is this: Men love it when they get a glimpse of something that they think you didn’t want them to see. The fine line is drawn between that glimpse, and seeing something the man doesn’t want to see either, such as anything that would be revealed by a miniskirt above a size 10.

Ladies, it’s the glimpse that men are after! (This really ought to appeal to most women, who, by their nature, are masters at giving a man a little taste of what they want, but hide the rest of the meal. But I digress.) Ahem, where was I? Oh, it doesn’t really matter what you wear, men are only interested in what they think you are trying to hide. Let’s say that a woman is wearing a floor length dress, sleeves to the wrist, neckline up to the chin, and a bonnet to top it all off. Coincidentally, these women are also called polygamists. Now let’s say that while so attired, wife #5 walks up a flight of stairs followed by her husband who happens to see her ankle and a little bit of calf. I am telling you, stop the presses, he is going to be turned on!! Why? Because he saw something he thought she was trying to hide. And not surprisingly, child #33 will soon be on the way.

But if she is wearing a knee length skirt, then lower legs don’t matter, it’s going to take a peek at her thighs to get him going. (Of course, by this time, we have already left the compound). Wear a miniskirt, and . . . well, you get the idea. It’s the same principle that gets a guy going when he sees a thong riding higher than the waist line of the pants, or a woman’s bra visible when that button down shirt is open just a little. Why, because he thinks you didn’t want him to see that.
Ever wonder why a man is more turned on by a woman’s underwear than her bikini? Same principle. Women, on the other hand, seem to prefer that the things men hide, stay hidden . . . like underwear. So, to recap, A man seeing a woman’s thong? Hot! A woman seeing a man’s skivvies? Repulsive!

Now, before you take me off your Christmas card list for this post, just remember, I didn’t make the rules, I am just the guy who doesn’t mind telling it like it is. But when it comes to looks, fashion, and style, I will leave you with this tip: Just remember, beauty is only a light switch away.

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